Wesley's first birthday is three weeks away. Three weeks! It seems as if no time at all has passed, yet my baby boy is pulling up and walking with Mama down the hall. First steps are not that far away.
I cannot believe still, to this day, that I am a mother, let alone a mother to the sweetest baby ever born. I looked at Wesley tonight as I rocked him to sleep and I kept thinking, "I cannot believe he's mine. I cannot believe I'm his mother." When did life get so surreal?
I never really pictured myself as the mother-y type, yet God saw something I didn't, for He blessed me with a little angel. Now that I am a mom (that looks really weird, by the way), I can't imagine life any other way. This past year has been a true adventure, the kind you can't rent at Blockbuster or book thru a travel agent. From poopy diapers and breastfeeding to rolling over to crawling and pulling up, from first holidays to eating big people's food, from playing chase down the hall to walks in the stroller - everything has been an eye-opening experience. What a way to see the world! I never knew cats and horses could be so exciting (neither was I aware that a barking, snarling dog intent on chasing us down the street could be cause for joyous squeals and flailing arms, but there you are).
It's not easy being a mom; I never expected it to be, but boy! there are some days where I'm sure the mommy god is having a good laugh at my expense. Still, at the end of the day, when Wesley is snuggled up in my arms, or first thing in the morning when he's cooing and singing to Zebra in his crib - now those are the moments that turn the joke on that mommy god. His first birthday - wow! I'm almost sad in a way to see it arrive, for it means the (near) end of breastfeeding and the start (soon anyway) of first steps down the hall. At the same time, these new adventures will definitely provide more thrills than not, and that is the greatest advantage to motherhood.
